god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
