So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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