It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize
