hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
We left the knife in your bed.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
