btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
it wasn't lemon gatorade
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
