in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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