Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
