I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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