I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Even my vagina gasped.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
