I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
