I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
