Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
