His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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