margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
