Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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