If that was your dad, he is hot
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
