I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
