wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
