then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
That's when you crack a 10am beer
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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