i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
