You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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