do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
There r osticjed everywhere
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
