Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize