Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I don't deserve a penis
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
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