I think I won the penis lottery.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
