chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Well I just put wine in my tea
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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