i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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