Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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