Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
