Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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