I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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