No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
