i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
