But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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