No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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