Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
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And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
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I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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