Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
