So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
