dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
