Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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