I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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