what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
