five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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