i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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