We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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