i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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