Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
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Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
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Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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