So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
