lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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