I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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