operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
