k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
