you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
