if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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