And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
