used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize