never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
