jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
operation harelip BJ is a go
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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