ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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