So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
