Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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