Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
