Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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